The Impact of Menopause on Confidence, Career, and Coaching
NOTE: A version of this article was first published in Coaching Perspectives, the magazine of the Association For Coaching, in October 2024.
I was on a client call a few months ago, sharing ideas for a new leadership development programme. Someone asked a question about employee engagement - an area I have a lot of experience in - so I raised my hand to make a comment. I was half-way through my first sentence, when suddenly, I completely forgot, not only the name of the theory I was planning to reference, but also the point I was trying to make.
I began stuttering and stalling, racking my brain, but my brain just didn’t want to co-operate! It was a very well-known theory and a name I had uttered hundreds of times in my career, but it completely escaped me in that crucial moment. To say I was embarrassed would be a huge under-statement.
This sort of ‘lapse’ of focus had happened a few times in the past year, and it was starting to affect my confidence at work. I wasn’t sure if I was just getting old or not sleeping enough or something else was wrong. I’ve always prided myself on being knowledgeable in my subject area, and this was making me question myself and my worth. I started speaking less in meetings and even avoiding them where I could. As a Consultant, my clients are, after all, paying for my brain and if my brain isn’t working that well at the moment, then… well, should I be doing this work anymore?
Some of you might relate to my story, because it’s not an uncommon one, at least not for women in their 40s and 50s. Memory and concentration problems (or ‘brain fog’) can be one of the many effects of menopause and perimenopause – the months or years before your periods stop [1] . Hormonal changes around this time have a wide range of physical and mental effects – the most well-known being hot flushes, difficulty sleeping, joint pain and mood fluctuations, but also includes things such as: skin changes, weight changes, fatigue, and even tooth and gum problems!
Awareness of menopause is slowly growing, and many organisations are now including menopause plans within their diversity, equity and inclusion (DEI) agendas.
The Data
Menopause is one of the issues that sits the intersection of age and gender [2] because it creates a particular disadvantage for women at this stage in life. This is also the time when many women are at the peak of their careers, which poses a significant talent risk for organisations, if not understood and handled well.
A survey of 2000 women by the CIPD in 2023 found that over 10% feel discriminated against because of their menopausal symptoms, 17% have considered leaving work due to a lack of support in relation to their menopause symptoms, and 6% have actually left [3].
If you layer on other aspects of difference, like ethnicity or disability, it gets even more important to understand the nuances. The average age, nature and duration of menopause varies by ethnicity [4], and there are cultural variations in perceptions and attitudes that can impact how someone experiences it [5].
For example: The average age of menopause in Indian women is 46.7 years, which is much earlier than the Western average of 51 years. This is partly why it didn’t immediately occur to me that this is what might be happening to me (I’m “only” 46!), coupled with the fact that I didn’t have the “typical” symptoms like hot flashes or night sweats.
So, three things are clear:
Menopause directly affects 50% of the population (and indirectly, almost all of us) in some way or another
There are many common aspects, but the experience is different for everyone.
It’s a normal life transition, but it can have a material impact on our day to day lives, including our energy, mood, work, relationships, and identity.
Menopause and Coaching
So how can we, as coaches, incorporate a clearer understanding of this life stage into our practice so that we can better serve our clients who may be experiencing menopause/ perimenopause themselves, or have partners, friends or colleagues who are?
Some coaches now specialise in menopause and have developed a niche in supporting women through this transition. But even if you don’t position yourself explicitly as a ‘menopause coach’, it is important to incorporate an understanding of this life stage as it will inevitably affect some of your clients at some point.
We don’t all need to become experts in this area, but here are some steps we can all take:
Be aware: Educate yourself on the effects of menopause (and hormones more generally) and the kinds of support (both medical and lifestyle) that you can discuss with your client, if the need arises. There are lots of resources online [6].
Be holistic: Understanding the impact of hormones and bodily changes is very much part of coaching the “full self”. We tend to separate ‘mind’ and ‘body’ even though we know that our feelings and experiences are inter-linked with our physiology.
Be inclusive: Remember that the experience varies significantly from person to person; so ask rather than assume, and consider cultural and other differences.
Be sensitive: It’s not a topic everyone wants to discuss, particularly in the workplace. Many women are reluctant to openly share their experiences with colleagues, because they are afraid of being stereotyped or seen as less competent. Others may not be aware it’s happening. So try to assess where your client might be with it, before diving in.
Be balanced: Don’t inadvertently put the spotlight on the issue so much that you end up stereotyping and limiting your client – it is one aspect of their lives right now, not the only. For example, if a client is feeling unusually stressed or anxious, it could be because of falling oestrogen levels OR it could be that their job has actually become more stressful than it used to be. Don’t jump to conclusions before exploring all the factors with your client.
Be an ally, not a doctor: Menopause is a natural life process – just like puberty or midlife – not an illness [7]. Treat it as a transition you may need to support your client through, with knowledge, sensitivity, and care.
As coaches, it is our job to help people with issues like identity, change and confidence. We cannot do this effectively if we don’t understand and consider the impact of hormones on our wellbeing.
For me, personally, just reading more about it and talking to others going through it has helped immensely in terms of knowing I’m not alone and realising that nothing is “wrong” with me. I now understand that this is a transition and it’s temporary. I know I might need some medical help, but while I await this, I’ve made a few lifestyle and nutritional tweaks that are helping me manage some of the physical symptoms on a day-to-day basis.
But it’s not just about dealing with the physical symptoms. For many of us, it’s also about the meaning we assign to ageing, change, and our self-worth. This is the part that coaching can really support.
Ultimately, developing a deeper awareness of menopause, hormones, and physical changes in our bodies, is another way of widening our lens as coaches and developing a fuller view of what it means to be human.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Pooja Sachdev is the co-author of 'Rewire: A Radical Approach to Tackling Diversity and Difference', published by Bloomsbury and described by the FT as "the most refreshing approach to diversity I have read."
She is a coach, counsellor, consultant, and founder of Rewire Consulting.
Specialising in organisational development, diversity & inclusion, and leadership, Rewire helps build positive work cultures that enable people, teams and organisations to fulfill their potential.
Menopause Overview from the NHS (UK)
Gendered Ageism: "Women in Leadership Face Ageism at Every Age" by Amy Diehl, Leanne M. Dzubinski, and Amber L. Stephenson (June 2023)
Menopause in the Workplace (Survey) by CIPD (October 2023)
Racial differences: "Menopause: More than half of Black, Asian and minority ethnic women do not feel represented" by Amrit Birdi (September 2023)
"Menopause in ethnic minority women" by British Menopause Society (June 2023)
A Feminist View: "How Women Can Have a Better Menopause. Here's how." by Jen Gunter (May 2021)
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